Yeah I’m alive, and well . . . .

Yeah I’m alive, and well  (11/16/2009)

Ya ever had someone say something to you meaning the very best yet you took it completely different than how they meant it? Don’t lie, you have to. Sometimes, that’s the way I feel when people tell me that I’m an inspiration. Inspiration my ass, I simply chose to live instead of die.There wasn’t any more to it than that. When I went into the ER on the afternoon of November 20th, 2007 I knew that something was wrong and that it wasn’t good. I sure as hell didn’t have any idea that things were as serious as they were. Within an hour they had told me that the blood flow in my lower left leg was all but gone due to blockage of some sort. I knew that not only was that not good but that it could be damn serious, at any time. Then came the $64k question . . . . . You have a choice, either have your leg amputated or we’ll make you comfortable for the end. Now I ask ya, is it really not obvious what almost all of us would decide there. Duh, dead or alive, I’ll have to think about that one. NOT! Kenny Chesney, Dean Dillon & Mark Tamburino wrote a song that Kenny and Dave Matthews sing that says it very succinctly for me :

It’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive

The last verse also speaks loudly to me with . . . .

Stars are dancin’ on the water here tonight
It’s good for the soul, when there’s not a soul in sight
But this boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I’m alive, and well

And the chorus says all that needs to be said at that point with

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin’ in and out’s a blessing can’t you see
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Now I’m alive, and well
Yeah I’m alive, and well

In many ways I feel like I was with the writers (on the beach?) talking of life when this song was written as it pretty much reflects the thoughts that had whipped through my head when I was told it was time to make that choice. I was given the opportunity to call it good and bow out of this real game of life but that thought barely even occurred before being buried by the want to spend more time with the wonderful woman who accepts me for me and loves me anyway. To see the granddaughters grow up, to enjoy some good friends or a good song, to play with Boz, to bore y’all with my useless banter on here, to do whatever the hell I want that I enjoy yet doesn’t impact others in a negative way.

When the defecation hit the rotary oscillator with my second leg I didn’t really think twice about what to do, take it off so I can move on. Many have complimented me for my positive outlook and that I’m always joking and laughing, often at my own expense. To me, that’s what life is about, enjoy the moment for what it gives you, it’s not gonna come back for a do over. As my better half has said many times about “problems” – If you have control over it than shut up and change it, if not than shutup and accept it; don’t whine about it. It’s pretty damn simple.

For those that haven’t had the chance to hear this song, here’s a custom YouTube video I found with this song as the audio on it. I’ve thought of doing something similar and may do just that, down the road a piece.

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body — but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming — WOW, WHAT A RIDE!!” – Author : Unknown

Y’all take care and have a good week, ya hear? Yeah I’m alive, and well . . . .